Keeping a Good Home Doesn't Mean Making Everbody Miserable





You don't mean to do it. You hear it in your voice, as you sound like that shrill shew that you never thought you would be. You're snippety with everyone for not keeping up the image of the ideal home.

You're stressed out.


You're not enjoying this.

You're like Martha snapping at Jesus while complaining about her sister Mary for not doing enough to help out around the house. You might even think you're more spiritual than everyone else because of your efforts, but nobody likes being belittled in front of others.

And you know that no one else is enjoying this. No one thanks you for keeping the bric-a-brac spotlessly shined, nobody cares whether your china has matching cups, and nobody frets over the endless details that you worry about.

For you, it's a source of anger, and for them, it's a source of annoyance. Or, of fear.

So stop it, already. Keeping a good home doesn't mean making everybody miserable. And keeping a good home doesn't mean keeping a spotless home. Perhaps it's time for some soul searching.

I don't hate you. In fact, I wrote this because you seem most unhappy of all. Perhaps you need a shift of priorities? Because when your housekeeping is the disguise for your perfectionism, your family often becomes the enemy.

The messmakers.

The unappreciative.

The ungrateful.

The Proverbs 31 lady laughed...and she wasn't miserable. And I bet she was busier than you. She had a vineyard to keep, a business to run, a family to feed, and clothes to make by hand.

'She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.' Prov. 31:25

She wasn't fearful that her house would be a mess. She wasn't fearful of what the neighbors would think (if your house looks like an episode of hoarders, this doesn't apply to you :). She wasn't afraid of spilling some milk here and there. She had a family. She saw to their needs, but she wasn't overburdened with fear.

What are you afraid of?

What bothers you?

What's eating at you?

Is it helping you, or is it hurting you?

Is your home or the things in it an idol that you serve relentlessly day by day?

Can you laugh like the Proverbs 31 lady and not in the maniacal I've-lost-my-mind kind of way? Can you relax? I think that she could.

Is the burden heavy?

Jesus says: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Perhaps you've enabled somebody to be a slob. Perhaps you've taken the brunt of the work, because their work won't meet your expectations. If cleaning up after them is not truly preparing them for adulthood, then take a rest, and lay your burden down.

If you're at the stage where it is your job to clean up after others, see it as a way you can be of service to others. See it as an opportunity to live out your faith, to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to do all things in love. Don't use it as a way that you can serve the bric-a-brac or the other useless, lifeless things in your home but as a way that you can tend to the living. After all, that is what and who our homes are for.  

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"See it as an opportunity to live out your faith, to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to do all things in love." Yes, this should be our motivation when making a home! But I had to smile at your line of not serving the bric-a-brac ... so often that is what we do!
I enjoyed your post! Guilty at one time, but 5 kids later while I still like an organized house, it isn't breaking me like it used to. I've let go of my expectations. #Raralinkup
Thank you for sharing this! Great wisdom that needed to hear today!

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